Author Topic: Two Soldiers  (Read 2236 times)

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Lyca

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on: 07:36 AM, 01/16/17
Ben and Jerry were two army guys who didn't have girlfriends. Ben didn't have a girlfriend because when he wasn't soldiering he stayed in his mums basement, lived off pop tarts and gatorade and played Runescape. He wasn't even cool enough for WoW.

Jerry didn't have a girlfriend because when he wasn't soldiering he liked to wear jesus sandals and tennis socks. If that wasn't enough he also wore 80's style tight butt shorts (he didn't even have a pretty butt) and string vests.

Neither of them showered or washed their hair. Ever.

So this one time they hatched a dastardly plot so they could both get girlfriends. They stole a barrel of toxic waste from a secret cupboard and decided to dump it in the water supply of a local town so everyone would become zombies. They would save two beautiful girls and the girls would be so grateful they would sleep with them. They knew it was toxic waste because the barrel had leaked a bit and some oozy, glowy funky coloured liquid had seeped out. Also a sign on top of the barrel was marked:

TOXIC WASTE DO NOT OPEN OR ELSE

They rolled the barrel to the local river then they decided to pick which girls to save before making the zombies because that would make the most sense. They saw a couple of girls with big boobs and dressed like cheerleaders. Those two will be fine said Ben. Okay said Jerry. Just when they were about to empty the barrel a guy with tons of soap in his eyes ran up to them screaming. Ben and Jerry couldn't tell what he was saying.

Lather Face killed them both with a pizza cutter and the town was sort of saved.

The End.


PS.. I'm sorry.. :P



« Last Edit: 07:11 AM, 01/19/17 by Lyca »
Lyca