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A modest ritual

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« on: 02:36:11 AM 07/16/17 »
Hi guys. I got you a ritual to be done and I presume you all will love it. I know how much you all love rituals… Without further ado, let’s see!

The moment you start this ritual, you can not stop it.
Do not record it.
Do not use any electronics.
Do not use cheap substitutes.
Do not start it if you are believing in a few specific things. These are: slavic gods, celtic myths, cajun and polynesian gods, hollow Earth and suffragettes.
You have to perform the ritual every year.
You have to keep tabs on your possessions during the ritual!

If anyone else feels that after the ritual they are unable to move their index fingers or such random, seemingly unrelated punishment, it is because of these rules were ignored.

Items you need:
Mechanical clock
Candles and matches (maybe some lighter works as well).
Water, bread.
Something you believe in.

The ritual
Get a mechanical clock. When it strikes twelve, start packing candles around your house’s corners, and light one every hour.
When you got all rooms lit by candles, get another one and move into a room darkened. It should be done at 11:45 PM, in your local time. If there are windows, board them, and securely lock a door. You can have bread and water with yourself but nothing else!

Keep a mirror close and some jam handy. If you feel like the ritual failed, throw some jam at the mirror. If it sticks, you had failed. You may try to remain in the room and light as many candles as you can, but if you can not hear the clock striking two, it is over.

After you got in the room, get a secure and comfortable place in it somewhere. Be careful not to burn yourself or the furniture - a concrete room without furniture works best. Ventillation may be needed.

After the clock strikes midnight, every step is crucial. When the striking stops, light a candle and hold it above a platter. The wax should land in a shape of something you and only you recognize. When the candle is burned halfway, put it down and do not move it.
Start to hum the tune you feel the most appropiate. It is important. If the tune stops, you may not hear anything and that of the sign of great tragedy.

Get the most powerful idol in your life ready. It can be a photocopy of it, the real deal, home made, it does not matters, your belief does. Keep humming while you kiss it or rub your face to it.
The clock should strike half past midnight. Stop anything you do and remain so until the clock strikes one. If you absolutely have to move, repeat the humming forst forward, then in reverse or start licking the idol. Maybe not “or” but “and”. We got to be careful!

If you performed this part well, test if the ritual worked with the jam. It should slide off the mirror and reveal a different world in it.
If it does not happens, hum in reverse, hop on one leg four times, then try to sing “I’m a little teapot”. It may sound stupid but it surely works - if anyone else finds a better solution to negate all negative effects, note me.

If it worked, you can see a different world in the mirror. It should show you an odd version of the room you are in and an alien version of you. Kiss the mirror, then put it on the floor, stand on it or, if you are too heavy, sit down next to it and keep it down. It is crucial that now you keep it facing down.

The clock should strike two soon. You can eat or drink and maybe even go to a bathroom break but the mirror should face down. After the clock strikes, you made it!

Now you only got to clean up after yourself.

The dangers
If you failed at any time or deliberately ignored the rules, you may start noticing your life changing. Erratic behaviour, stress, bile, being depressed - all are signs of the Wrong Choice. You will go down a horrible road that leads to your life being totally ruined. After this, a sudden cold feeling, coughing fits and dry throat happens most usually, but some had heat strokes. Their mood worsens and they may become very aggressive.
Usually, this is where you get stuck and wish at times you would be already dead. It is a phase only - you will wish death on others soon. Some may even do so if they get the chance… US citizens go on shooting spree, but less gun-filled spaces have stabbings, chokings, even hangings with belts and I heard once that someone did ritual sacrifices to appease some unrelated demon. Of course it failed.

There won’t be a way out,  unless you manage to do the ritual well.

You can keep your life. You may live for a year or so without issues from that direction, and that is a good way. Be happy you got that.

(I wonder how many would try...)