Author Topic: Most Helpful Answer [actual title pending]  (Read 465 times)

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RabidRadioactiveRaccoons

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Author's Note: This is supposed to be serious and 'helpful' advice written in response to a NoSleep-style  story, something along the lines of 'I Found A Chucacabra On My Farm and Now I Wish I Hadn't' All grammatical and spelling mistakes are intentional, even the ones that aren't.

Answer From: ShotgunBillyBob
It sounds like you have a problem with some Mange Hounds, least that’s what we call’em around here (yeah, their closer to coyotes , but we still call them Hounds.) We get them every few years ourselves here in Alabama. Their related to the Mexican caprivore sanguine, but they aren’t actually chuca’s. Don’t worry too much, they seem way scarier than they arctually are.

Best way you can tell when they’e around when mangles sheep and cows start cropping up. I’m not sure if the things enjoy mutilating animals or if they just really go all out when theyre hunting, but yeah, vomiting is an entirely normal reaction the first few times you find what remains of their meal. Depending on the size of the pack, they can feed from once every week to annihilating a herd in a couple of days.

You can deal with’em pretty easily if you know what your doin. They’re a canny sort, but they ain’t smart. They don’t usually attack people and they have shit for eyesight, so a mannequin in some unwashed clothes and a flashlight can scareem off for a bit. Floodlights and sudden loud noises also work. Only works if you catch them early enough that they decide that you’re herd ain’t worth the trouble, otherwise they get all stubborn and aggressive. Actually clearing them out can be a bit of a hassle; they are fast and learn quick, but they obviously aren’t bulletproof and, if you don’t mind the racket, can be easily baited with an easy meal, like a dying calf or the like. Dens are a bit more difficult, best was is to smoke them out with a Molotov or two, maybe a flamethrower if you got one, and then open fire with three to eight friends.

Now, I don’t know much beyond the practicals, but Montana is a bit further north than most sightings, so this was probably a one-off encounter. You grazed it and that should be all it needs ti avoid your property. No sense driving yourself all paranoid over it or in searching for its den. If it comes back, just shoot it again, and this time don’t miss.
« Last Edit: 09:41 PM, 12/23/19 by RabidRadioactiveRaccoons »