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The Best Part of Pokemon

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KingHadas

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« on: 11:31:22 PM 03/11/17 »
So I posted this in Your Stories a while ago and I've come to realize that was a mistake since I was hoping for feedback. To anyone kind enough to read this I'd be very glad to hear your thoughts on it.
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The Best Part of Pokemon

by King Hadas

Prison is awful. Everyone's mean to me, especially the guards. They keep putting me in solitary even though it's the other guys causing trouble, not me. I hate Solitary, it's so boring. Just staring at the wall and waiting for-ev-er. After my first stint in Solitary I tried my best to behave how the guards wanted but still they keep putting me in. I think they just hate me for no reason!

I honestly thought I was gonna go mad in here but I remembered reading how POWs in Vietnam dealt with their Solitary. They would recreate something they read or heard in extreme detail. A novel word by word or a song note by note. It kept them focused and motivated and sane. Mind you it can't be just a vague remembering, every detail has to be considered, no matter how small until it's correct, until you're absolutely certain it's correct. I've been doing it for awhile now and I can say it definitely works. Pokemon Red for the Nintendo Game Boy, that's what I recreate, down to the smallest detail. Now Solitary is nothing to me because I just play Pokemon over and over again in my head. It's wonderful.

I always pick Charmander of course, he's my favorite. and I don't bother catching other pokemon because Charmander's the best! But the first two gyms are tough for fire-types. The first gym is rock based which fire is ineffective against. And the next gym is water based which is Charmander's greatest weakness. The Cerulian City gym leader is Misty, she has no honor and happily exploits my Charmander's weakpoint making him faint over and over again. It's not fair, I have to grind a lot just to survive one Water Gun attack. Misty is mean, I'll never forgive her.

After her though the game is pretty easy. I play through it normally until Fuschia City where you get the item HM04 which teaches Strength. Strenghth is a technique that let's one of your pokemon move heavy objects. Once you've learned it you can go back to Vermillion City where there's a secret only I know about! If you go to the Vermillion City docks there's a parked truck that you can now move! Underneath it is a secret HM. I use it on my long since evolved Charizard and learn a new ability.

When I was younger I didn't know how to use the new move because it's name was a word I'd never heard before. I would walk around randomly using it everywhere. For awhile I do this in my recreation as well even though I know the conditions for using it, you just have to be standing next to a building.

"Charizard used Arson".

The best part of the game has arrived. You see Arson sets buildings on fire, and when you leave and come back they're reduced to ashes. And all the people who were inside now exist in the ruins as ghost-type pokemon, which you can capture. It's time, it's finally time! I burn down the Cerulean City Gym and I capture everyone who was inside including Misty. They're now mine to punish as I see fit, as it should be.

I make them fight to exhaustion over and over again. I freeze them and poison them and burn them and then revive them again and again until every Pokemon Center in the world is burnt to the ground and then I go home and store them in my PC, the last PC in the game. Each in their own solitary box, and then I burn my house down so they can never leave. I wonder if they know the way to stay sane? I hope not.

After this I delete my save and I do it again and again and again and again....

It's good I have this distraction because my prison sentence is far from over and nothing's gone my way in here. When I was arrested I had a big bag of marbles that I've tried to get back but they refuse to return them until my release. They say they're potentially dangerous. Whatever, they're just being mean to me. It's fine, I can wait. I only wanted a few of them anyways. Only seven out of the whole stinking lot have any value to me. The rest are empty.

lavecki

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« Reply #1 on: 10:22:33 PM 03/15/17 »
Its a good concept. I liked the ending a lot. The middle should be worked on the most. The core of it, an inmate who is running through pokemon little my little, is neat, but I dont really understand why all the other stuff needed to be added. The arson bit and his obsession with Misty is a bit detracting. I dont think it needs to be removed but it should be explained a bit better. From the sound of it he seems to think that this is part of the game and it isnt believable that its a real part of the game. So you either need a reason for him to think its part of the game, or suspend disbelief more so that the reader can believe that they missed this part of the game.

The marbles bit is cool though, i like that.