Show Posts

This section allows you to view all posts made by this member. Note that you can only see posts made in areas you currently have access to.

Messages - Secoura

Pages: [1] 2
Your Stories / Re: Aranea de quod Laquearia (NSFW)
« on: 02:27 AM, 09/13/18 »
A very good story -- short and to the point, with excellent writing!

Story Critique / Re: Untitled sci-fi horror thing
« on: 12:14 AM, 02/26/18 »
I enjoyed it.  With the way technology is headed, it won't be long before such things could be reality. I imagine this is how my computer must feel when I run a backup :(

Story Critique / Re: Buckets of Popcorn
« on: 03:45 PM, 01/20/18 »
I liked it -- short, sweet and to the point.  My only question is that the narrator says that the "Poisoned Popcorn" didn't fit with the theme of the party, so what was the theme of the party?

So the first half or so of the rough draft is posted if anyone wants to read it and give their thoughts.

"I accept his offer and take the money walking out of the shop."  For some reason this one sentence is in present tense instead of past tense.

Fleming Storage Units WIPs / Re: Master List of Summaries
« on: 01:06 AM, 11/14/17 »
Unit 64 is now "Kindergarten Karaoke".  The backstory is pretty much the same except with karaoke thrown in.

I had no idea what to expect when I got to my brother’s storage unit.  I’d been paying for the unit since 2015 and I still considered it to be his storage unit.  Truth be told, if not for the emailing saying I had until October 14th to get what I might want out of the unit, I wouldn’t have been there rolling up the heavy metal door and wincing at the god-awful noise it made in protest.  Two years of non-use had taken a toll apparently.

The first thing I saw was an old console television.  I recognized it as a Curtis Mathes just like the one my grandparents had in their home.  All that worked on it was the turntable but there was something magical about listening to Elvis Presley records on it.  Why Scott would have one, I had no idea.  It couldn’t be the same one that my grandparents owned and it made no sense for it to be here.

I looked back at the black Bronco and Mr. Whiskers who was curled up on the dashboard.  He was already sleeping so I assumed it was still warm in the vehicle despite the chilly air outside.  There was no way the console was going to fit in the vehicle so if I wanted to take it, I’d need to rent a U-Haul.  I walked past it, hoping I hadn’t paid just to shelter an old television for two years.

There was a large yellow tub with colorful pictures of LEGO bricks.  It even proudly proclaimed to hold 607 pieces and I thought that I would have loved that when I was a kid.  Next to that was what I first thought was a kid’s radio.  I picked it up and set it on top of the console for a better look, finally seeing the cheap microphone clipped to the side.  It was a karaoke machine.  I laughed at the idea that young children would be into karaoke and leaving the machine where I’d set it, I kept looking around.  There was no light in the unit and my phone didn’t provide enough light to really see.  Not eager to trip on something or come face to face with a spider, I picked up the LEGO tub and began to walk out when I thought to look inside the console.  There were two doors, one at each end, and my grandparents would store their vinyl records in there.  I foolishly expected to open one of the doors and be greeted with the sight of old album covers protecting the records inside.  Instead, I found a small black portable safe that looked large enough to hold a laptop inside.  There was no keyhole, just a keypad and nothing to indicate the combination. 

I carried out the safe and the yellow tub to the car.  Mr. Whiskers had decided to sit in the driver’s seat, paws on the door so he could stare out the window at the other people who I imagine were there for the same reason I was.  I wonder how many of them were there only because of the dead body that was found.  Sad that it took another death to get me to Havre when Scott lived here for ten years before he died.

The door didn’t want to close but one of the officers was kind enough to pull it down for me.  He looked like he would have been more suited to football than police work, honestly.  I was tempted to ask him if he knew Scott but realized that it would probably sound stupid.  The town wasn’t small enough for everyone to literally know everyone so instead I thanked him for getting the door down, moved the cat to the passenger’s seat and left with the LEGOs and the safe on the floor.

If you’re wondering about the cat, Mr. Whiskers is 12 years old and loves to ride in the car with me.  Luckily a Best Western in Havre allows pets so I brought him with me.  He’s all I have left now.  No family, no friends, just a cat for emotional support.  Obviously I made some wrong decisions in my life to end up here.

The warmth from the heater vents felt good as I drove back to the hotel.  I wanted to get something to eat but I also wanted to get the safe open.

Fleming Storage Units WIPs / Re: Location Collaboration
« on: 06:45 PM, 11/ 5/17 »
I think Claira is going to be at Inspector MooMoo's on the 10th.  Nothing goes with guilt and grief quite like ice cream, after all.

Here's a list of all the parks in Havre -

Beaver Creek Park might work as well -

I don't think the title gives away too much.  As for the repression, in the midwestern states the attitude that the narrator images from his father is not all that uncommon.  When I lived in NE there used to be a joke that Montana was "where the men were men and the sheep were scared"  ;D

Fleming Storage Units WIPs / Re: Location Collaboration
« on: 11:31 PM, 11/ 4/17 »
Claira will be at Unit 64 on the 10th around 10AM and leave around 11AM with a small safe ( and the big container of LEGO.  She drives a black 1989 Ford Bronco with North Dakota plates.  Mr. Whiskers, a Maine Coon, will be in the vehicle and likely on the dashboard watching people or sleeping while Claira is inside the unit.

Fleming Storage Units WIPs / Re: Master List of Summaries
« on: 11:14 PM, 11/ 4/17 »
If anyone could tell me how to format a link so it just says "link" instead of being a mile long, I would greatly appreciate it.  :P

You can always run the link through to get it shortened.

Fleming Storage Units WIPs / Re: Research
« on: 06:45 PM, 11/ 3/17 »
evilblackbunny, if you have anything in particular in mind I bhave an app for toxic substances and what amounts cause what symptoms. I'd I can help you (or anyone else that might need that information) let me know.

Fleming Storage Units WIPs / Re: Location Collaboration
« on: 02:18 AM, 11/ 3/17 »
My character will be staying at the Best Western Plus Great Northern Inn.  Prices be damned, they have a section for pets so Mr. Whiskers can join on the trip.

Unit #64 belonged to my character's older brother who moved to Havre around 2005 to work at the Too Close For Comfort archeological site after college.  He died in 2015 in an early morning car crash and my character took over the payments on the storage unit rather than have to go there and face disposing of his belongings.  At some point she'll be visiting Hopper's Firearms.

Fleming Storage Units WIPs / Re: Location Collaboration
« on: 01:04 AM, 11/ 2/17 »
I'm looking for a more "chain" hotel that someone unfamiliar with the area would feel safe staying in, Secoura. I was thinking of looking to see what hotels are in the area in the coming days. At the least, I'd like something noisy to happen in the hotel that would break my character's concentration. Not sure whether you or someone else wants to create a detailed incident, but that would also be welcome. Just as long as more than one person hears something in the hotel.

A chain motel is where my character would stay.  Someplace she can lay her head at night without worry that someone will break into the car and find the murder weapon...I mean, steal any of her belongings. 

Pages: [1] 2