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Messages - TheHauntCollection

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Fleming Storage Units WIPs / Re: Screaming Into The Void
« on: 12:58:23 AM 12/06/17 »
Well, I have a busy next couple days so I went ahead and submitted my story tonight after a last pass through for typos and such. I unfortunately haven't had a lot of time to read through other stories on here, but I'm not too confident about mine stacking up well with the others as opposed to weighing the project down. Nevertheless, I'm glad I took a shot at it, I think I would have regretted it more if I didn't. Good job, everyone.

Opted to remove the newspaper and add another photo, which the waitress notices and recognizes as the missing girl she used to hear about when she was growing up. Then had the narrator look up the information on his phone and realize what happened that way. I'm opting to stick with the false memory device because, from what I understand, while completely manufactured or repressed memories don't seem to be a thing, altered memories in the case of trauma seem to be a bit more accepted as an occurrence. I feel like these changes help the story make a bit more sense, but hope it doesn't add clutter.

Fleming Storage Units WIPs / Re: Screaming Into The Void
« on: 11:48:02 PM 11/28/17 »
Nothing like second guessing literally everything I write because self assurance be damned. No satisfaction should be found without validation from other people!

That's been me the last 2 weeks.

Fleming Storage Units WIPs / Re: Screaming Into The Void
« on: 12:24:57 AM 11/20/17 »
Mistakes have been made, haha.

I don't know if I find the "constructed memory" angle believable. In my experience, when a person goes through something like that it leaves a big impact on them and they can't forget no matter how hard they try. It feels like it's just a plot device so that you can reveal that she actually went missing half way through the story. I can see why you did it, because it wouldn't make sense that the narrator's best friend could go missing without him noticing. But maybe there is another way you can get around that.

You say that HER family moved away, but why not turn that around? What if instead, the narrator's family moved away abruptly and that the narrator always regretted the fact that his dad wouldn't let him say goodbye to his best friend? Everyone they know would accept that they moved away because they wanted to hide the fact that their son's best friend went missing, but secretly the dad moved away because he didn't want the cops to catch on to him. Also, if Lindsey went missing from Havre Montana the narrator's friend at the store and the waitress would probably recognize her photo from missing posters and her name from all the gossip. If they were kids when it happened there probably would have been a school assembly about safety or something when it happened. But if the narrator moved to Havre after all this happened, it would make sense that neither of those people would know who Lindsey is.

As for the newspaper it's dead give away for the twist ending and I feel like it doesn't make sense for the dad to have it. I think it would make more sense for the narrator to realize, "I've tried looking up Lindsey on Facebook before but she never came up. Maybe I should try again." Then, when he doesn't find her on Facebook he googles her and finds out the truth.

Hrrrm, you raise some very valid points. This combined with DP's newest video makes me feel I should do some heavy rethinking on this, which is concerning. But if that's what I have to do, it's what I have to do.

Fleming Storage Units WIPs / Re: NEW DEAD LINE
« on: 01:09:00 PM 11/19/17 »
Yeah, and the tips part has me terrified cause it's like, "is he talking about meeeeeee?" Which, normally, if you feel like something is referring to you, it probably is, but my social paranoia can make me think everything is about me, haha.

That was really good!! By the moment he saw the newspaper I knew where this was going, but it still had a good punch from beginning to end.
As for suggestions, Idk, maybe it's a little too long on the restaurant section, or the last paragraph could be written differently, but overall I think it doesn't need anything else.

Thank you for reading! I kinda figured that the newspaper would be the giveaway for the reader but I'm hoping the narrator's horror at piecing together the information and realizing all these memories are a lie is a suitable punch. I'll take a look at the restaurant scene and the last paragraph and see if there's any way to clean them up.

Fleming Storage Units WIPs / Re: Content Warnings?
« on: 12:13:25 PM 11/08/17 »
Sorry, about that. I have strong opinions and can be kind of bitchy when I express them. *Opps*  ::)

Sorry to you too mikemacdee. I was being a bitch.

I'm in agreement with you, for what it's worth, but I don't want to disrupt the project forum with fighting. I get some of the reasons people take issue with CWs, particularly the spoiler aspect.

Fleming Storage Units WIPs / Re: Content Warnings?
« on: 11:39:09 PM 11/07/17 »
I wasn't trying to start any sort of fight about this, I didn't realize it was going to be a "darn SJWs" thing or whatever.

Fleming Storage Units WIPs / Re: Content Warnings?
« on: 02:46:12 PM 11/06/17 »
I think we always should, no matter the subject, write what we want.. the guys on UCA have talked about pretty heavy stuff, so I don't believe they would have any problems with heavier stories... maybe if you are really concerned, check with DP or Allen on twitter, they answer really fast

I'm not concerned about the content in the context of the project, I was just curious if there was a consensus on putting content warnings on our stories for people who might read them and potentially be upset by the subject matter.

Fleming Storage Units WIPs / Content Warnings?
« on: 10:57:05 AM 11/06/17 »
It occurred to me that my story gets into some territory that someone might prefer to avoid, so, content warnings? Should we or shouldn't we?

Fleming Storage Units WIPs / Re: Events
« on: 06:08:09 AM 11/06/17 »
If anyone happens to notice the person clearing out unit #51 sitting in the driver's seat of a U-Haul van mid-afternoon on the 10th bawling his eyes out, please leave him be, he'll be fine, he just needs a minute.

Edited to post the complete first draft.

Fleming Storage Units WIPs / Re: Screaming Into The Void
« on: 09:08:40 PM 11/05/17 »
The whole don't use X tropes part from the rules is kinda frustrating because i am hella new to this site and have no idea what these disallowed tropes are

Without going back and looking, the main thing they don't want to see is monsters/overt supernatural. I don't really remember the mention of not using tropes, but maybe I'm wrong?

Hey, I am curating the Master Summaries list and you commented on it saying you were thinking about changing the deceased relative bit from your story. I just thought I would comment here to make sure you would see what I have to say about it. I don't think you have to change it. While it is true that a lot of the stories seem to involve this detail it does kind of have a spooky feel to the project as a whole. Like, "Why the fuck are people in Havre dropping like flies?" Almost gives a cursed vibe to the Storage Facility.

I understand if you want to change it to stand out, but those are my two cents.

Hey, thanks for commenting. Yeah, I think my story is worth rethinking at least a little bit anyway, even if I do end up keeping in the deceased relative bit. If I can come up with something that I like better I'll use that, if not, it definitely creates a curious situation with the people of Havre.

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