Author Topic: Nick the Dick (Part 1) (Title Pending)  (Read 284 times)

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Skill Flea

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on: 09:53 PM, 12/17/19
 I’m always very hesitate when it comes to making friends, especially with co-workers. There’s just something about it that seems completely unnatural.

You initially make friends with the other children that you live near but as you grow up, you generally leave those childhood friends behind for new ones. Usually it’s people that have similar interests and hobbies. In certain environments and communities, people will even come together over similar beliefs, creeds, pop-culture preferences, and in some cases, race and gender identity. From the most conservative white-collar worker to the shadiest street peddler, everyone pretty much makes friends in a similar manner.

Sitting in an office for 8 hours with a bunch of people you don’t know make for bad friends. You’re not exactly interacting with these people by choice, this is something you’re doing for income. None of these people would ever interact with each other if they weren’t getting paid to do so.

And everyone is a dick to each other and I mean everyone.
 
The guys are all ego-driven maniacs that are either too self-absorbed in their own bullshit to care about the task at hand or these limp dickheads who are in a constant state of ass kissing to the higher-ups. It’s always a fantastic time whenever another white co-worker comes up to me like I’m some sacred friend and talks about how “they’re not a racist but…”
 
And the women, holy fuck the women. I swear to God, if I have to hear anymore juicy office gossip about people I don’t care about. Thanks Daphne, but I don’t give two fucks about whether or not you saw Susan wearing the thong or if Janice was with some old fart in the handicapped stall.

What’s the point of standing in front of each other smiling only to then viciously turn on each other like savages the moment you can?  How can you trust anyone in a work environment where the sole purpose is to get paid and move up in the world?

Nick was different though.

He's always been a very relaxed dude that never had a bad word to say about anyone. About ten years my senior but clearly the most magnetic personality in the office by far. Tall and lanky with bleached, blonde hair. Generally dressed casually in these worn out buttoned shirts, with these ridiculous stained beige khaki pants and over-sized brown shoes with darkened tips. He looked like an absolute goofball on a good day and a complete psychopath on a bad one. He also had this really odd aura around him. I never quite placed it but something about it just stuck with me. Nothing bad, just unique.

Nevertheless, no one ever gave him shit about anything. There was just something about him that naturally attracted people to him.  It was very hard to get angry at him, he was also incredible at his job and happened to be the one that trained me on my first day.

I’m not going to talk about who I am, where I work, or what I do for a living. All I will say is that Nick and I had very similar upbringings and that our jobs involved working one on one with clientele. Usually over the phone or, if God decides to be cruel, in person. In other words, working directly with your other co-workers is a rarity at best. You’d think I’d be frequently left alone most of the time but unfortunately that just wasn’t the case with the yapping numskulls I work with.

Now, I think it started around the same time a group of friends first introduced me to Dungeons and Dragons. I don’t remember exactly how it came up but I remember mentioning it to Nick one morning and his eyes just lit up.
 
‘I have a group of buds that play RPGs all the time! If you like, maybe you can join us?’

Before I knew it, I found myself talking to him more and you know what? It felt oddly natural. I know I've been burnt in the past but for whatever reason something just seemed to click. We were taking turns buying each other coffees, bad-talking certain the clientele behind their backs, and mocking our co-workers.

One Friday afternoon, I was in the middle of telling him a story about how my campaign was going, when one of the managers came in to call him into her office.  Some pawn from HR I think.

He went to follow her but jotted his cell number on a sticky note before he left. Said he wanted to hear about my campaign.

Now at this point, I had never hung out or did anything with this guy outside of work, and like I said earlier I really don’t try to ‘make friends’ with coworkers. I would normally never text a co-worker with my personal cell. Even with Nick, it seemed kind of weird.

Still, I like the guy enough. So without trying to overthink it too much, I took the note off his desk and put in my pocket. Then went through the rest of my day and simply went home without seeing him again.

Later that weekend, I had an awesome time with the campaign. I was pleasantly surprised by how much fun I was having with the few friends I had and by the time it was Monday, had more stories for Nick when I went to the work the following week.

He was nowhere to be seen though. I remember being a little disappointed but there could literally be a thousand reasons for a man to miss work. I didn’t think about it too much since I was busy. But with Nick out, I had extra clientele to cover.   

Thursday rolled by and Nick still wasn’t in the office. By this point, I was pretty much forced to cover all his clientele for the week in addition to my own and wasn’t getting any overtime payments due to some ‘policy’ or whatever. I tried going to my manager but she did not have any sympathy for me whatsoever.

“I’ll tell your boyfriend ya miss him!” she croaked out.

I can only hope she keeps smoking.
 
It honestly was tempting to just pack up all my shit and leave. Without Nick here, they would’ve been absolutely screwed if I just disappeared. I still don’t know why I stayed honestly, maybe it was all the peace and quiet I was having this week.

Still, I did think of someone I could vent to. Someone who was literally costing me several forced overtimes this week and whose contact information I had recently acquired. I sat down and took out my phone. Then decided to text him.

“i cant believe u just left me here with the crazies do you know how much shit ive been in covering for ur sorry ass?!”

Sent.

I put the phone on my desk and kept working.

After speaking with two more clients, I started to think about what I had done. By the time I had finished with a third, I decided that I was an idiot. I wanted to clarify a few things with Nick, preferably before he saw what I wrote. God only knows why he’d been out for all this time.
 
As I reached for my phone, I felt myself tense up a little when I realized it was too late and three new messages greeted me. All from the contact I'd childishly labeled as “Nick the Dick”.

‘I don’t know who this is but I’ve said on several occasions to not use this number. This has to be Toby right?’

I didn't know what to do. Who the hell is Toby? It took me several seconds to fully understand what happened and I felt like an idiot when I realized it.

I smiled and began thinking about writing out some long-winded text about who I was and why I sent him the message.  The opportunity was there but I also considered doing the right thing, ask him how he was doing and if he was okay.

I didn’t.   

“yeah im toby”

End of Part 1

I've been trying to get back into writing and have had some ideas for a few months now. This is one of these. Please let me know what you think and whether or not I should continue to write for it.

Thank you.

- John

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urkelbot666

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on: 05:41 PM, 12/25/19
There's not a whole lot to go off here, but I wanted to leave some comments. Sorry for the delay in responding.
I think as a setup for a larger story this has potential, I'm not sure what kind of length or pacing you're thinking, so take these thoughts with a grain of salt, or a truckload x3 One thing that gave me trouble with starting to read this, especially in the opening was the voice of the narrator. It came across to me very, and I know this is going to sound stupid given the nature of this entire site, Creepypasta-ish. Now, if that's the audience and the tone intended, then it's absolutely fine. For me, it just felt a little derivative. I have trouble sometimes when things start off like "You know how this this and this? " and go into an explanation of stuff like how we all make friends in a way that's meant to be relateable. Personally, I'd rather get to know a little about the narrator personally if possible.  Maybe hearing him describe how he's made friends and then realizing that maybe that's how it is for everyone.

Another thing about the narrator was that I felt like I wasn't very fond of them. That's not necessarily a bad thing! The way it was presented here made them seem somewhat whiny and bitter to me. I'm not sure why it was quite that way. The descriptions of how life is in the office felt like they could have been reigned in a bit, or even stay as-is, but drive home that this narrator really is sensitive and a little complain-y, or maybe push things a little further in the descriptions and set a tone that's more over the top.  Again, maybe these don't fit with the tone you want to create.

There are some things I liked, little bits of character stuff. When the narrator mentions about people's airheaded, unintentional racism, I thought that was funny. The line "I can only hope she keeps smoking," was funny to me as well and gave a little more depth to the character, I thought.

A few typos popped out and some things that could maybe be cleared up. In the beginning, I think you want "hesitant," instead of hesitate.  There's a point that reads "bad talking certain the clientele." Maybe a few other things I can;t remember right now. I thought that the sentence about how the narrator might quit aside from the "peace and quiet" he's getting could use a little clarification. It sounds like he's crazy busy, do you mean peace and quiet from the other office workers? It mentions three text messages from Nick, but only gives one. Was it repeated three times?

Again, in all, I can;t say a whole lot about this piece because it's short and an opening to something larger. I tend to like things that are paced a little slower than this, but again, I don;t know where this might go. I hope none of these critiques were too harsh or unhelpful :)
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