Shadow Song (2018 Ritual Pasta Challenge)
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Posted by PartyL1keStink on: 09:31 PM, 09/ 4/18

Remember how you are not supposed to play those little games you find on the Internets? Well this one came from the dark web; said you could see a shadow of a higher plane or something like that. I just had to try this shit. And it required some arts and crafts.

First I had to make a doll. The instructions said how I made the doll did not matter as long as it had arms and a face. I chose to make one out of a clothespin I bought off the Internet. Thankfully, a friend of mine had the paints for the face. I bought another doll from a thrift store and took its clothing (don’t judge me) and finally added little glue and toothpicks for the arms. Next, it said to draw an endless knot on white paper with one eye above it and two below. Eyes I managed easily enough, but drawing the knot was a bitch. The instructions said something about thinking of the cosmos or reality when drawing it, and I have the drugs for that. With that out of the way, all you need is a bit of rope or twine, two candles and nice dark room. All were pretty easy to get. Oh, and the incantation. The instructions say it makes more sense in the original language but I doubt it. We’ll get to that later. Also, you are supposed to do this with a buddy to stay safe, but none of my friends were down this kinda shit, so I flew solo.

I waited it till I knew it was going to be cool at night and turned off all the social media and crap. Also, yes, I was completely sober. Not a toke, sniff, drink or pill all day till it was time. To prepare the room, it said to put the doll across from you, standing it as best you can or sitting in a chair. My nifty tablet stand kept her vertical. Then I put the drawing between me and the doll, like the instructions said, and sat on the floor. Next, you light the candles and place them so that both you and the doll cast shadows onto the drawing, but not to let the shadows touch. It took a minute, but placing a candle over my shoulder and the dolls seemed to do the trick. This is where the directions start to get a bit weird. They said to stare at the doll, right in its eyes and visualize the essence of the doll seeping out into its shadow. The recommended time was one or two minutes, but I think I ended up staring at it for like five, creeping myself out in the process. Flickering candlelight didn’t help, let me tell you. Once this was done, I had to tie a figure-eight knot into the twine I got, thinking on how rope binds. That done, it said to put the twine around the doll and tie a follow through, or double eight, to secure it around the dolls waist. Finally, all that time in the Scouts paid off! Well, that and my first weed connection.

That weirdness done and the doll put back, it was time for the incantation. I recited it as gravely and with as much authority as I could. Here it goes, and I warned you it doesn’t make much sense:

“Crow caws and Raven laughs,
Just as flesh crawls when Shadows dance
The Spider weaves through the fabric of reality
And I unfetter the Locust!”

Now remember how I said I was completely fucking sober? I swear I was not trippin’. The fucking dolls shadow started to move around. Not the doll, the shadow. It writhed and grasped about, and I swear I heard it wailing in my goddamn brain. Soon enough, the damn thing reached out and grabbed my shadow. The instructions said this would happen if it all worked, but at that point I thought this was going to be some sort of weird meditation thing. Once it had hold on my shadow, I was frozen in place. Burning cold washed over my body just as I felt some kind of wet; freezing things go into my nose and mouth. My vision clouded over and I think I blacked out. Next thing I know, I looked up to see myself. Me. Looking up. Seeing myself. I couldn’t move or nothing, and actually saw my body lean down, and start untying the twine around what I guess was now my waist! Maybe I should have made my temporary little body a little prettier. I think the body nature made me was making some kind of noise, since the (my) mouth was contorting and violently. All I wanted to do was scream bloody murder. But being a fucking clothespin, what can you do? Fuck!

This did not last long though, as the now giant form of myself succeeded in untying the knot. As soon as the twine came loose, my vision blurred violently and I found myself standing in the woods. I looked about, trying to get my bearings, when I happened to see through my hand. Yeah, you read that right; I saw right through it. Not even sure if it was the right size or shape to be my hand, but it was not made of meat. It was kinda like I was made of shadow or something, nearly transparent black. When I walked, my steps felt bouncy as if I had no weight. The sky above me was a strange shade of red, like the sepia filter on a camera. The colors of the trees, though green and brown like normal, had a similar reddish tinge. Oh, and they were screaming. Took me a second to realize it over the shock of finding myself out in the woods all of a sudden, but yeah, they screamed. It was so loud that I was surprised at the lack of pain. I covered my ears only find that I could not feel them. Right after trying that out was when I noticed the faces in the trunks, which resembled cheap carnival masks made of bark. Unable to process any of this, I took off running.

Now, I’m not really what you would call an athlete, so usually after a minute or so into a sprint I start heaving like an asthmatic in a cigar lounge. Yet I got a good couple minutes into my run before I realized this was not happening. I stopped by a large, old looking tree that was glaring at me instead of screaming and sat on the ground. The forest seemed to go on forever, so I figured I was not going to get out on foot anytime soon. Furthermore, it caught my attention that I was being watched, from everywhere. Seriously. Glowing eyes of many shapes and sizes could be seen all around me, in the darkness between trees. Reminds me of some the old spoopy cartoons I saw when I was kid, now that I think about it.  I don’t know if it was day or night in this place, not seeing a sun or moon up in the sky, but there was just enough light for me to see clearly.

Clearly there is no rest of the wicked. Without getting a chance to get used to screaming trees and staring eyes, I saw the shadows came out to play. They were basic human shapes, and of course lacked bodies to cast them. Instead, they stood, like people, and were not confined to the ground like God intended. As I stood up, they quickly surrounded me and each took a turn touching me and retreating, like a pack of monkeys. I swear my brain was about to explode out of my ears and this point. It was just too much. Left there another moment I probably would have just curled up and wished for death. This all ended when I heard the woosh of large wings and the croaks of a giant fucking raven. Damn thing swooped down, scattering the shadows and grabbed me, and finally something in this place fucking hurt. It lifted me off into the sky with its talons sunk excruciatingly deep into my shoulders.

After shutting my eyes from the unbelievable pain, I opened them again to find myself in the park, a few blocks away from my place, with a normal sized raven croaking at me like I owed him money. Thankful to still be dressed, I ran back home loving the feel of my weight and the pain in my lungs. Nobody wanted to talk to my ass that night, and one friend just laughed it off as a bad trip. I burned the damn doll and picture as soon as I could.

So that’s my story. Maybe someone will believe it.

Drugs are safer than dark web rituals, kids.