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Victory Bell

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Zathoth

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« on: 04:09:11 PM 11/29/16 »
This was my entry for the pokepasta challenge.

 Bellawesome was an obscure lets player with a somewhat close knit group of watchers. While some left there was always a trickle of new watchers coming in. Bell mostly played JRPGs, some fighting games and Pokemon, mostly Pokemon, so much Pokemon. She had a habit of filling her teams with mostly Grass, Bug and Poison types, always picked the Grass starter and preferred slowly poisoning her opponents to death as opposed to more sensible Pokemon Trainers who defeat everything as fast as possible. As you can imagine she hated fire types.
 Bell herself was ditzy, but never as loud and hyper as more popular lets players. Cute, with long hair in more colors than a rainbow eucalyptus and narrow, dark eyes. She loved horrible word plays with that wasn't obvious from her name, a love her viewers shared. Word plays such as always naming her Victreebell Victory Bell (For whom the Victreebell tolls?), a habit that led to someone speculating that her name was Victoria. Her tendency to slowly poison her opponents to death lead to the theory that her name was actually Jessica and of course there was the obligatory question to ask if every boyfriend she mentioned was a beast.
 We were horrible, other things like call her tweets 'chimes' and everyone having low resolution avatars I had taken with my Gameboy camera didn't make us much better.
 One day in late October she chimed a picture of a grey gameboy cartridge with a white label that said pokemon all in lower case comic sans. "Someone sent me this #obviously haunted cartridge? #thanks for sending me curses gais".
 Later that evening she brought out her Gamecube with the Gameboy player attachment and hooked it up to the stream. The game begun in Celadon without any intro screen. The first thing she did was to go into the start menu to check her pokemon. She let out a grumble and frowned into her face cam when she saw that her team consisted of Charizard, Rapidash, Arcanine, Flareon and Ninetails and went on a typist rant on how fire types are impure and inferior. Someone typed "Shut up Grass Hitler" and her typism turned into laughter.
 It was then we realized that Celadon was empty. The huge mall was abandoned and so was the Mansion and Game Corner, the only NPCs were Sister Joy and another woman in the Pokecenter.
 "Rumor is that Erika is hiding something in the trees behind her, you will need this." Said the mysterious woman and gave us Cut, which Bell instantly taught to Charizard and walked out the door. A battle started instantly against a Victreebell and being both unable run and not having any Pokeballs she used Flamethrower and the battle was over as soon as it began.
 About every ten steps a battle would start and not having any other options Bell used Flamethrower and was done with it.
 "I am not going to toll-erate this" she said with a frown on her face and a wave of relief went through the chat. While she was starting to look angry everyone knew she wasn't after that pun.
 A lot of burning of innocent plant life and a cut tree later she finally made it to Celadon Gym, which was, like the rest of the city, empty. Bell went up to one of the trees and pressed A and the tree disappeared only to be replaced by a set of stairs.
 Down the stairs was a white corridor going to the left with signs adorning the top wall. Bell walked up to the first one, pressed A and was met with a low resolution image of what looked like a man; naked, tortured, blindfolded, gagged and chained to the wall behind him.
 Bell jumped in shock while the chat exploded into profanities. Looking seriously unnerved she continued walking down the corridor and looking at the pictures, all Gameboy quality  images showing similar things to the first one.
 Erika stood at the end of the corridor, looking at one of the pictures. As Bell approached her an exclamation mark popped out of her head in surprise.
 "!
Who... who are you?"
 And then the battle started. Erika opened with Bellossom, but was instantly burnt by Charizard. Next was Victreebell, Tangela and lastly Vileplume, but they were all knocked out in a single round.
 "No... you know my secret. What now?"
 Red stood in front of Erika until the screen flashed and she disappeared, then the game shut down.
 Bell looked scared, like she was on the verge of tears. She excused herself, saying that there was something she needed to do and ended the stream.
 That was the last time anyone saw her.

LionOhDay

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« Reply #1 on: 08:26:50 AM 12/03/16 »
I think the set up of a lets player live streaming is interesting and her talking with the chat is a very fun set up. Though the story doesn't use the chat as much as it could.

Pokemon lore wise you made one big flub, Bellosom was not in the first gen it only came in the second generation. Not that this is a mark against the story just that it is something you should explain. Maybe the dev added in bellosom or maybe the game is using the gen 2 engine.

I feel the fight with Erika is glossed over too quickly and having the player still recieve a bad end even though they one isn't the best. Instead maybe having the LPer take the game less seriously and walk around while poisoned, or wasting her charizard's flame thrower's PP on random encounters meaning she has none left for Erika.

Might I suggest that she only has Charizard in her party and it ends up getting poisoned in the final fight with Erika, thus the LPer has to walk back to nurse joy all along the way her Charizard's health is dropping. The exceptionally long hall would only exasperate this. Maybe having her have ten antidotes but having already wasted them on previous fights?

Those are just my suggestions.

HyperThermal

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« Reply #2 on: 02:05:32 PM 12/03/16 »
Pokemon lore wise you made one big flub, Bellosom was not in the first gen it only came in the second generation. Not that this is a mark against the story just that it is something you should explain. Maybe the dev added in bellosom or maybe the game is using the gen 2 engine.

It doesn't say in the story here, but the impression I got was that this game/hack was built from FireRed/LeafGreen. The clues for this are Bellosom (obviously), and the fact that this is being played on the Gamecube's Gameboy (Advance) player.

LionOhDay

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« Reply #3 on: 05:38:05 PM 12/03/16 »
The use of a game boy camera makes that a bit odd as well though.

If the author meant for the game to be FR/LG instead of the original than that does make more sense.

Zathoth

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« Reply #4 on: 05:42:36 PM 12/03/16 »
... it's built on gen 2, yep, I did not mess up this.

I think the set up of a lets player live streaming is interesting and her talking with the chat is a very fun set up. Though the story doesn't use the chat as much as it could.

Pokemon lore wise you made one big flub, Bellosom was not in the first gen it only came in the second generation. Not that this is a mark against the story just that it is something you should explain. Maybe the dev added in bellosom or maybe the game is using the gen 2 engine.

I feel the fight with Erika is glossed over too quickly and having the player still recieve a bad end even though they one isn't the best. Instead maybe having the LPer take the game less seriously and walk around while poisoned, or wasting her charizard's flame thrower's PP on random encounters meaning she has none left for Erika.

Might I suggest that she only has Charizard in her party and it ends up getting poisoned in the final fight with Erika, thus the LPer has to walk back to nurse joy all along the way her Charizard's health is dropping. The exceptionally long hall would only exasperate this. Maybe having her have ten antidotes but having already wasted them on previous fights?

Those are just my suggestions.

That would just stretch it out and completely ruin the point of the story. She has no reason to walk back, the game is over, it told the story it was going to, she has better things to do.

I am not sure, but you might be completely missing the subtext XD